


The Next Time You Say Forever

by coloursflyaway



Series: Hartwin Week [5]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Pining, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-04-16 08:29:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4618521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coloursflyaway/pseuds/coloursflyaway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eggsy gets married, and all Harry can do is watch.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Next Time You Say Forever

 

Eggsy looks radiant today, Harry can’t help but notice. He’s dressed in white, the suit one which Harry bought him (“Just let me, Eggsy, it’s the least I can do”, he had said and had ignored the tug at his heart, because it was the truth. It was the least, and the only thing, he could do), his hair parted neatly and his oxfords polished.  
Even after seven years, the boy won’t even touch a pair of brogues. It makes Harry a little proud, makes his heart flutter like the wings of the butterflies Harry killed when he was younger so he could mount them, pinching just beneath their head to stop them from damaging their fragile wings.

Merlin says something next to him, but Harry just knows that it will be something he won’t want to hear, so he doesn’t listen. And really, how could he, when he needs to concentrate on this and this alone, on Eggsy looking more beautiful than ever, green eyes competing with his smile over which shines the brightest.  
Putting a hand on the boy’s shoulder, he steps closer, close enough to smell a hint of aftershave, a tad sweeter than the one Harry uses but still tart, still fitting.  
“How are you feeling?”, he asks, although he knows the answer.

“Great.” Eggsy turns his head, beams at Harry, who has to stop himself from taking a step back; just being close to Eggsy’s grin feels like he’s burning up. “How else could I feel on me wedding day?”  
“Of course.” Harry gives his best smile, ignores the way his heart splinters and breaks.  
_Wedding day_. Isn’t it strange how the words can hurt so much when Harry has known for years that he won’t ever be to Eggsy what Susan is to the boy?

“But not gonna lie, I’m also freakin’ out a lot.” Eggsy’s smile softens, grows a bit more timid, a bit less confident. “I mean, it’s another first thing, y’know? New an’ everythin’.”  
“It is. But it will be worth it.” Harry squeezes Eggsy’s shoulder, and he knows that he is right. He has never been married, but he has watched more than one marriage blossom and bloom, has watched people grow even closer, find a life together.  
Granted, he has watched almost as many marriages fail, but he knows how Eggsy and Susan look at each other, how the boy, who will never be his, gets up earlier to make her breakfast, how Susan waits up for Eggsy when he gets back from mission. Knows the amount of texts Eggsy sends her at every time of the day, that Susan has proposed to Eggsy by baking a ring into a chocolate muffin – one for herself, mind you, gold with a sparkling diamond in the middle.  
“You’ll be a great husband, Eggsy, don’t you worry.”

“Ah, that’s not what I’m worried about.” Eggsy winks and Harry once again marvels at how such a small gesture from a man half his age is enough to make his silly old heart skip. “I’m worried about Susie, if anythin’. I’ll be great, obviously, but she… y’know how bad she is with cookin’ and all.”  
It makes Harry laugh, and Eggsy’s eyes light up brilliantly, his eyes crinkling around the edges - when ever did his boy grow older, Harry asks himself, and how did he never notice it until now? – and for a few seconds, everything seems to be right with the world.  
_I love you_ , the words are on the tip of his tongue, because they have wanted to be said out-loud for years by now and because Harry has swallowed them down again and again; he does the same now, swallows and forces himself to forget.  
It’s getting easier and easier, and it’s the easiest right now. He isn’t important, Eggsy is.

The boy’s eyes dart down at his feet and then up at Harry again, giving him the earnest look that always gets to Harry, no matter what. “’s just that… I love ‘er, but sometimes I wonder if this is… it, y’know? Right. If we’re supposed to be.”  
In a movie, this would be the moment where Eggsy confessed his undying love for Harry, but it isn’t, and Harry’s heart skips needlessly.  
He has heard Eggsy talk about Susan (“She’s just so lovely, Harry, I swear, you have to meet her. I’ll introduce ya to ‘er as soon as I can!”), has known them through their first months, through fights and through good times, through wounds and missions and one pregnancy scare; they love each other and there is no doubt about that. And no old man, who harbours some unwanted affections, should come between them.

“That is completely normal, my boy”, Harry answers, smiles and squeezes Eggsy’s shoulder before he lets his hand drop. “It’s a big step after all. If you weren’t overthinking everything, I would be more worried about you.”  
Next to him, Eggsy takes a deep breath, as if he was steeling himself for battle, then nods, like he used to during their little lessons on manners, the right way to mix a martini, how to use a fish knife. It brings back more memories than Harry can bear, ones of long nights spent drinking and talking, of teaching Eggsy how to play poker, of Eggsy showing him Grand Theft Auto in return and almost choking on his laughter when Harry managed to die three times within five minutes.  
If anyone asked, Harry would name those times at his happiest, together with the first few years he had at Kingsman, but right now, remembering just hurts.

“Let’s get to it, then”, Eggsy mutters, more to himself than to Harry, but he nods anyway, then steps aside to let Roxy take her place as a maid of honour. It feels a little wrong to do so, not because he doesn’t think she loves his boy, but because Harry knows he loves him more.  
But, Harry reminds himself, Eggsy doesn’t know that, nor should he; Harry would rather spend a life in the boy’s orbit than risk all for the chance of getting closer to him.

And so he watches Roxy smile, which doesn’t look at joyful as she should, and stands back, watches Eggsy tense when the first notes of the song they chose fill the church, relax again when Susan enters, looking stunning in her white dress, her ginger curls pinned up, a tiara perched on her pretty head.  
Michelle cries silently, Daisy watches with the wide eyes of a nine-year-old, and Harry builds yet another wall around his heart, so it can shatter unnoticed.

 

 

 

(Eggsy mutters _I do_ and kisses his bride, feels tears welling up in his eyes. Later, he will tell her he was too overcome with feelings to hold them back, but right now, he tries everything not to think of Harry’s lips instead.)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so, so sorry.
> 
> In case you want to say hi, send me a prompt, or tell me something nice, you can find me on Tumblr here:  
> [X](http://www.coloursflyaway.tumblr.com)


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